I really excited for the new football season.
arsenal didnt have any big buys as usual. but usually, these youngster
we buy, delivers the same, if not, more than the big stars.
im really proud to be a gunner. proud of the team. how they play.
true that we dont have any trophies to prove, but it'll come only sooner.
but the style of play the accuracy of passing and agility combined with teamwork,
surpasses all. and i can only be sure of it.

new signings, they will deliver:-
1)Samir Nasri
2)Jack Wilshere
3)Amaury Bischoff
4)Aaron Ramsey

and then the new kids from under 19s:-
1)Carlos Vela
2)Jay Simpson
3)Mark Randall
4)Henri Lansbury

now we have depth. weee. Go Go Gunners. <3




"Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whisper's "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms

I like where you sleep,
When you sleep, next to me.
I like where you sleep... here"

here. :)




i am slowly getting closure.
i shouldve started running a long long time ago.
but all i can do now, is wind up a slight smile. :)




i do feel great right now, like just satisfied. and still, great things are soming by one by one. and im gonnna take all of it with a newly constructed confidence and new found strength. i have found peace within myeslf. now all i need is just resilence.

i feel brand new. :)


i just wish that there was so much more than that. about. me & you. :)




my confidence right now is on cloud nine. no dont mistake it for arrogance. seriously, i have a different level for that. but tahts not the point.

things are seemingly falling into place. and im standing up. all by myself.
its okay, i dont need a girlfriend or whatever to help me. its time i be independent. but i am independent. i couldve been. but its just that i dont like it.
but yea anyways, had my photoshoot just now. haha. so awkward and funny. because it was outdoors and ALOT of people were there. so malu. it was at wild wild wet and nebo cafe beside the cathay. and i was told there will be one more in the studio somewhere in town area. damn, i still no nuts about directions in town.

my TEEPEE is next week! tuesday! im not putting any hopes on it though. if pass then great, alhamdullilah. if not, if okay, try again. no pressure. my friends over at nebo, are taking over the cafe at ehub. there already sent in a proposal and in the midst of the operation thingy whatever im not sure. and i think i'll work there, the pay is quite good. and yea. slack job good apy = dream job.

happy happy happy.
but no matter what, how, who, when.. i'll always treasure you in my heart, i dont care what you have to say. but yea. if youre reading this, i just want you to know, i am sorry, but its entirely up to you to accept. i dont expect you to suddenly forget things or talk to me again. just know what, you'll always be in my heart, and yea, i do miss you everytime. everytime. really. :):). be happy and stay away from danger okay. imy N.A.A




Cause you gave me the best mixtape I have and even all the sad songs ain't so sad
I only wish that there was more than that about me and you.
oh, don't turn around and say bye again
Yeah it crushes my heart when you call me your friend
I'm not the same person
From back in the day in the back of the class
that you thought was gay
No I can't find the words cause I lost them
The minute they fell out of my mouth
ya it's love and I'm in it, so give me your lips
And just let me kiss 'em
and let's get messed up and listen to probably...
The best mixtape I have and even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was so much more than that about me and you. <3

had a reunion dinner witht the guys from nebo. initially the plan was supposed to be at fish and co. but fish and co. was full house and they dont do reservations. so we headed to Fig and Olive instead. the food wasnt that bad actually. but the brownie was gooood. i had some what pesto chicken cabonara what i dont know. but yea. made new friends... clara bel, aj, deel or however its spelt. i talked with the owner of nebo too. he's a really nice person. and very professional by the way he talks. i would like to be like him. successful. and fraekin rich probably. and the bill was close to 800++ for 20++ people to eat. hahaha. can buy a bike siak.

imy. :)




just got some photos back.


hehehe. listening to instructions


presenting khairul anwar M3. rehearsal.


the suprising win... theres a video of me. but malu ah.




oh no. yesterday i felt i was going to get sick. and true enough. today, i can confirm that i am sick. and head's messed up, and my body feels weak. today i went to watch "Darknight", adi fazir and khalid told me that it was a pretty damn good movie. better that wanted and hellboy2. so i met hanis at marina square had lunch and then watched the movie.

overall rating : 3.5/5
not that WOOW afterall. oaky la, to give some credit, above average. i prefer hellboy WAY WAY WAYYYYYYYYY better. darknight's cool gagdets were the highlight though. but other than that, batman doesnt cut it for me.

my head's in an awful lot of pain. im still contemplating as to whether i should go to school tomorrow or not. i really want to talk to youuuuuuuuuu. to confide. to complain how bad my headache is. to argue with you over nothing. and then hear your lovely voice before i sleep.

"It is almost, if not, completely impossible to forget a significant other. au revoir.





HumanForSale.com - Fun Quiz




Name: khairul
Date: 7/20/2008
Colorgenics Number: 47321560

It would appear that you are experiencing one problem after another. When one problem is resolved, another seems to immediately take its place. It could well be that you are trying too desperately to evade or to escape from your present situation and it is 'you' that is causing the problems to manifest themselves. You need to slow down a little.

You are a leader in every sense of the word. You know where you are going and you know what you need to do in order to get there. You exercise an inherent initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. You either hold, or wish to achieve, a position of authority by means of which full control can be exerted over events.

You are a demanding egocentric and therefore quick to take offence. This attitude makes people feel somewhat inadequate when in your company and so it is no wonder that at times you feel alone and unwanted.

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.

Being afraid that you may be prevented from achieving your hopes and dreams is making you anxious and nervous. As a dreamer your ideas can at times move into the realm of fantasy and you could be following that so called illusive dream.




sometimes i still miss you. but all i think of are the times that we were really happy, and the nice things you've said. and your smile. and then, it brings a smile to my face. i cant have you back, true. but youré always in my heart. a girl like you, indeed, is impossible to find. i am sad. but i am happy, cause at least, you are happy now. and from the beginning, all i wanted was you being happy. but i seemed to be bringing you down. sorry. :) with you i was invincible. but its okay. go out and fly. its beautiful to see you smile. just dont fly too high, cause if you'd fall, you'll get badly hurt. take care. i love you sayang :)




You Are 5: The Investigator

You're independent - and a logical analytical thinker.
You love learning and ideas... and know things no one else does.

Bored by small talk, you refuse to participate in boring conversations.
You are open minded. A visionary. You understand the world and may change it.

At Your Best: You are sharp, inventive, and creative. You have the skills to lead the world.

At Your Worst: You are reclusive, weird, and a bit paranoid.

Your Fixation: Greed

Your Primary Fear: Being useless or incompetent

Your Primary Desire: Being competent and needed

Other Number 5's: Bill Gates, John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, Bjork, and Stephen Hawking.




What Khairul Anwar Means

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.

People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.
You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.
You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.
You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

how true again. hehehe.




Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:
You have medium extroversion.
You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."

Conscientiousness:
You have high conscientiousness.
Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.
Most things in your life are organized and planned well.
But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.

Agreeableness:
You have low agreeableness.
Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all.
In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted.
And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently.

Neuroticism:
You have medium neuroticism.
You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.
Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.
Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of.

Openness to experience:
Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

This.. is me. 99%. Almost perfect. and i couldnr agree more or less. read and understand.:)




this week was a breeze. which is what i want. my attendance has been quite bad actually for one module. which is business administration. im always late. and since its always the first lesson. its rapidly deteoriating fast. i need someone to wake me up in the mornings again. haha.

went home straight after school, and stay home, chilled and watched tv. thought of studying, but soon lah. and at night, met khalid adi and fazir, and we went to sheesha. the service is pretty good. only that it was damn hot and quite expensive.
i forgot the shop name. but i think al-majlis is wayyyy better.

i forgot tto add, there's this place called, Victory, just beside Zamzam. Adi introduced me and the food is just superb. really fantastic and delicious. the chicken murtabak wassssssssssssss woooo. damn im hungry now. its mouth watering alright.ok im goonna play soccer now... au revoir..

Avee Sexy Bom.




new blog. new breath, new life, new me. :)




it often helps going through shit and came out of it still in one piece. though sometimes torn and tattered, STILL in one piece.

well, from the recent shit, i think i've been out of it pretty much. and ive learnt something valuable, that, if it doesnt kill you, it can only make you stronger. i think i am much more stronger that before, knowing that i went through it alone. although i have my faithful bestfriends around. and words or advice and inspiration from friends too. :p. but yea, most of it, i went through it alone. like the lonely nights. ergh. its a killer i tell you. to tell you the truth, i didnt had anyone to talk to during that times. most of them were probably sleeping. so yea.

í'll have more control over myself, i wont give "my world" to anyone. i can only merely treat them as an extension of myself. because, if they were to ever go away, i am still myself. and i wont feel too shitty about it. i went through it once, and my mistake was giving her "my world" and ive said it before, when she went away, she took all of me with her. i was devastated, but i slowly mended myself, and i grew a whole new person inside. its still khai though. only equipped with more experience. and i can safely say that suprisingly im turning into a more patient person. though i'd admit, i still need iron self control to supress the uncalled bouts of sudden flippancy of emotions. and i will never let my emotions get the better of me. thats fo'sho'.

so what was love to me?
well, first off, i'd say. it was the love of my life. really. the good things ive said. was all too real. the bad? well, lets just say, i wanted revenge. like you said, revenge is sweet.

well, knowing the times you were in hurt. i too, was secretly hurting inside. i was thinking of ways to make you feel better. empathy, you could say that. The very milisecond you went away? i was starting to miss you already. The things i did for you? right down from the bottom of my heart. I'd die just to see that smile on your face. silently, you swept me off my feet. its raelly the fun times we had, that was all worthwhile. sometimes we would be hurting from arguments and fights. i didnt care though. it was worthwhile. really. but oh wells. :)

i know theres more to life now. i see every inch of it. envisaging what i would become. its oaky if anyone would laugh my claims off now, for i know i will have the last laugh. im really looking forward whats in store for me. and i will embrace each endeavours with open arms and loving life. okay, seriously. i just need to say this. its a word ive been keeping in my chest locked. sayannnnngggg. its not entitled to anyone for now. but its a word that gives me goosebumps.

cést la vie.




update update. extra extra.

gonna have a school talent showcase.
and gonna play an acoustic song with shira.
of course im not singing, just playin the guiter.
and then another one, this one im not really sure yet though
a performance, and i might be playing guitar and shira on vocals again.
and this time, theres a foreign student exchange programme, by students from
australia. Amagad! Aussie chicks. i loveeeeeeeeee.

i want someone like angelina jolie. hotness. maybe a little bit younger. hahaha.

oh damn, ive been wanting to buy a rubix cube. and a guitar pick for the performance, i guess, i'll go later on. after then to soccer. :) at last. ive been itching to play eversince i bought new boots.

talking about boots. leads me to PUMA!. im in love with the brand. im gonna start working soon, and as i save up for the mighty mighty HONDA XR400. i'll pamper myself by indulging in ice creams and buy more things

current wishlist for puma:
1)puma casual shoes
2)puma tshirt
3)puma soccer boots(field)
4)puma cap
5)puma bermudas
6)puma long pants
7)more puma tees.

oh, and i hate artsy fartsy people. i have my reasons. but im not gonan post it here. nanti ade orang TERASE. and no, not you khalid.




what is it? what was it?

i am feeling contented, satisfied with what im having right now. got load of happy stuffs to share, but right now, i just dont feel like it. spent the saturday with kak emil, ariff, mezzar and adi, watch hell boy at 3.35am. yea. only my and ariff stayed up for the whole show. the rest? ASLEEP. the sound effects were thundering, and the rest steady bopipit in the lala land.

i was playing my computer when my dad came and said, when youre 20, and WORKING! or in NS, go take the bike and trade it in for a bike of your choice. i was like okayyyy. thanks dad. he likes to give this shocking news and money. like all out of the blue, but still thanks. :) XR4 XR4 XR4! cant wait. i guess that will be my ultimate birthday present.

anyways, i am contented with my life now, they things ive got, and getting, new friends, money, time, and almost everything. but it still doesnt feel right. like something's not in place. not there, a void. you know.
i dont really feel like typing out what im feeling right now. how i wish someone would come by, and asks me whats wrong, and help me.

because right now, i feel like a small boy who fell and bruised his knee, sitting down with teary eyes, not wanting to budge by myself, just waiting, and waiting for someone to come by, and attend to his wounds, and help him back up again, and watch him grow, watch him take over his life and be the happiest man in the world, happy, strong and successful.



i want to be loved. all over again. and appreciated.




27th july 2008. portfolio photoshoot. yayyyyyyy.
5th august 2008. traffic police test. yayyyyyyy.

two important dates for now. im feeling contented and happy. :)




ai ikam som taim ai can see yu meh ikam som taim so mes mo lomeh.

anyways.... updates updates.

friday, sentosa again with bestfriends. (i swear im gonna be a nigga soon)
saturday, siti's birthday at seoul garden, meeting kak emil and mezzar and ariff also, damn i miss them. adi's also coming along. woo. i already considered kak emil as my own cousin. and andi, okaylah, kesian punye pasal, like my own brother.

sunday, andi said hes getting me an acting job. which im so excited for. i like these kind of jobs. super fun. and he better not be kidding me, cause im so not going for siti's bday if he's playing a prank.


anyway. bapok prank coming up soon. and the hulk prank also. planning final phase.
i want to sleep with angelina jolie.
and im gonna watch hellboyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. booya. with hanies. next week. pronto.




bah. ive been listening to sad songs, and it definitely sinked me down.
staying afloat until someone comes and pick me up. :)

today i was late for driving. and it was in the circuit. scary at first. but i did well i think. almost perfect. yay. and double yay for 5th august. Traffic Police test. im nervous. but i think i'll pull it off just fine. unless something unfortunate might happen. *fingers crossed.

and when i was on my way. i saw the last thing i ever need to see. my heart sank and i quickly manoveured towards my far left. lucky there wasnt any eye contact. whew.
anyways, WHO WANTS TO COME ON MY VIRGIN RIDE? :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

school's good. im hoping i can get a gpa of 2.8. two fingers and toes crossed.




i held on so tight. so afraid to let go. and it broke free. i got hurt. and i retaliated. something ive told myself over and over again. shouldnt have ended that way. my guess that it wasnt all my fault though.

im not sad, not jealous,
not disappointed, no regrets.

i miss everything about you.
but i dont want you back. i dont even want to see you again.

i just miss that warm hug. the look on your face, and the smile you gave when i suprised you. i can even still remember vividly like the back of my hands. you werent the best, honestly. you had alot of flaws. but i didnt care putting myself against all of it. because i loved you. everytime, when you hugged, and that you kissed all the pain away. you were the comfort i held and regarded so high. you were apart of me. i never got the chance to ask you, why the second time....

i hate you.
although i say i hate you now, i'll be missing you. always.




i made a new friend. Qas. when i first saw him. i knew he was somebody i can relate you and talk to. and indeed i was right. this is his band. playing their original song "falling for cindermaya".

really really good. i knew i'd make new good friends from the competition.
he's the singer btw. they were performing at the competition.






"You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby"
-David Cook/Mariah Carey

Hmm.. wasnt supposed to be like this.
been a long long super long weekend. and the secret competition that i was shy to disclose it here was actually a runway model competition. i was just going for the auditions for fun. like trying new things. THEN, i was selected. Shocking? no not yet. so went for the training and rehearsals. I WON THE FRIGGIN TITLE! NeBo fashion model 2008 winner. i was SHOCKED ALRIGHTY. wouldnt say i dont deserve it. but i'd say i was suprised. i will post the pictures up when i geddit. anyways, i got the title sash, a GAP perfume, a super duper huge flower bouqet and a 1 year modelling contract with Crossroads Model. shocking siaaaaaak. and the contract is worth quite alot 1k plus if im not mistaken. stay tuned.


..how i wish i can just put it all away.
my feelings lingered. i supposed yours just decimated in a blink of an eye back then.




tell me again, give me a reason why i shouldnt punch you square in the face.




"All I want to do is make sure you stop chasing rainbows
Trusting those around you is an easy thing to do
I'm not saying don't believe in someone that you don't know
Just don't go on thinking that the whole world tells the truth

It's all fucked up, being reserved and quiet
She doesn't understand the message that you send
Don't give it all away somewhere, someday there's someone
Who can replace that state of mind, you never give it time"

- No Use For A Name




i really really really should stop laughing gasing. i feel stupid.
brain-dead. fullstop.




all i feel like saying now are curses and badwords. fuck it. i'm gonna do things alone now. fuck support systems, fuck confidants, fuck you. i'll probably just follow the plan ive set out. this time no more excuses, no more leniency for myself. i will get to my lifetime goal. and my ambition, that is, Welder Inspector. Salary is commendable given that starting pay would incur somewhere and in between 5k-6k. and its never going down. fuck pilots, fuck lawyers, fuck politicians, and FUCK RAMBO!. then i will take leave and go to spain and find my future wife. or maybe holland. i want an angmoh chick. fuck arrogant girls and fuck the skeptics.

ULTIMATELY, FUCK YOU IF YOU DONT BELIEVE.

sorry for the vulgarities, im just cranky now

Khairul Anwar
TwenTEEN
29/12/1988
Singular
Driven







Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is Mystery, Today, is a gift. That is why it is called the PRESENT

Exit.

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Snippets

May 2008

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November 2009

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MUZEEKA