i couldnt care less.




so, regret. Apologetic? neh, Penitence? Most probably. What was it about really? complete faux pas i tell you. Débile. definitely it would haunt you, till the very day you smell the earth 7m deep. It really, really, wasnt mine for the taking. But then again. it was an initiation i was suprisingly flabbergasted. i might be gaffe. but maybe you are too. i think you were the faulty counterpart, that was probably the reason and why we all felt we were held down. its hard to believe...

its hard to believe...

cést la vie




its 2 am
and im an angry boy.
because....... i just got new street soccer boots.

and nobody wants to play soccer with me now. :(




Yesterday is history, tommorow is mystery, today... is a gift. That is why it is called the present.




admist all these. ive actually grown stronger. ive learnt alot of things too. maybe what my mum said was right, shouldve heeded her advice. not meant to be....

OH, the bestfriends are in their jackass season right now, and its kinda fun when youre the one laughing, but its kinda annoying when youre the one getting pranked.
we were eating at changi bcos adi was hungry, and khalid HAD to be a bastard and pranked on me. turns out, ALL of them planned already. and yes, they left the carpark and i was alone with all the bapoks. IT WAS SCARY!. then they U-turned back and i decided to pillon adi instead. At least khalid did msged me when he got home just to say sucka, i love ya bff. (!@)#&(*#!@. its okay, i love you too buddy, but still, pay back's a bitch. i wont forget you ass. im gonna build up my body. skin colour is perfect already, just the definition of the body. :D:D:D ive got a competition on the 5th of july!. was called and underwent an interview and go selected. shall not disclose it here or anywhere in public. MALU!. im dreading the weather really, im perspiring as im typing this actually.


Limitations are just one's vindication, for its really redundant and that its never justifiable. refutation with ownself so as to feel relief, and limitations was
merely...

just a preference.




i feeling like posting, but i still havent regain all my energy and i still feel tired. My body? Aches everywhere, been to the gym, soccer 2 days straight, and yesterday's sentosa trip. too much, too much i tell you. haha.

well, sentosa was fun. Andi, Me, Adi, Fazir, Arniz and Qirin. my bestfriends, the beach, and a soccer ball. all i need. haha. oh shit, i just realised 3 days of soccer straight. no wonder my legs are jellyish. We met at 11.30am and we bumped into Nurul first at teh MRT station. then waited for qirin who's always late. so yea. reached vivo, and we wanted to walk when the walkway there was close. DAMN. had to pay an extra dollar to take the monorail. its great, when we reach there. wahhhh we had a good spot. hot babes everywhere, W-O-W. shouldve gotten to know one. hehe.
then blablablaaaaaaaaaaa im so tired to postttttt... we went home. We were damn tired when we were eating i was half asleep. then we took the bus home. Andi said, i was snoring. HAHAHAHA. well that happens when youre really tired.

And now, who whole body's freaking red. But i know i applied loads or sun tanning lotion. Golden Brown. thats what i want to achieve. ahaha. i think i'll go there again. soon. :):):)




:) since kak emil is complaining i update about soccer everytime, i'll have a real update now :P

" To believe in the things you can see and touch is no belief at all. But to believe in the unseen is both a triumph and a blessing."
-Bob Proctor

you may think i have nothing, and that i might be second to many. Well that i tell you, friend. Limitation is a choice, i choose to be limitless. for now. i dont really know what i want. but i KNOW what i need.

I'll show those skeptics what i really am. Growing stronger every time i get hurt. its a learning process. and i know, i'll fall many times before i'll walk. and im getting there. well, we both have ourselves to blame.

For all of you and me, all to no avail,
Just a chapter of the story of life...




i would like to pour out my feelings here. but i guess not.




I KNEW IT!!!!

Russia beat Holland. I knew Russia had the capacity, i thought they would only be lucky. but hell, they even thrashed holland. I thought the dutch were scared. they seemed shaky because the russians gave waves and waves of attack. both which italy and france failed to do. italy and france played defensive which gave the dutch the opportunity to attack, and the dutch have the, if not, one of the best strike force. so when the russians came attacking, they were confused and were torn into between whether to attack or defence, hence, the messy coordination.

ANDREI ARSHAVIN, man of the match. i salute.
endless run and technically perfect dribbles. sweet. just sweet.

anyways, ive finally sort out my plans and myself. i'll draw it up and explain it all soon.
now, all i need is self-discipline and maybe someone to remind me and help me help myself. :):)
happy.




poor croatia.
but congratulations turkiye.

but i have to thank you both teams, it was the best match so far.
VERY VERY entertaining game. salute.

i think im in like. :):)




alamak mr. khai. dont okay. :) be nice.




okay. 1.38am. SUPRA SLEEPY. but i want to watch croatia beat turkey.

i just got a free iPod shuffle. well actually my dad got it, and of course i begged for it. :) i think im pretty happy now.. yes yes, not everything going my way. but its okay, still moving.

ive been having migraines lately. i dont know whether its the ciggarettes or the laughing gas. But one of my bestfriend had to be a smartalex and STOLE three cans of laughing. Sorry blader, i couldnt help you out to get out of trouble. but i did try.
meanwhile, on another story, Me Qirin Fazir Andi and Siti were at mustafa center when qirin pulled out a tolley and macam paham started taking things he doesnt plan to buy, he didnt had any single cent with him at all. im lazy to post up the picture. but yea. we filled up the whole trolley and were laughing and giggling and whenw e wanted to go off, we just left it there. for the assistant to put it all back. HAHA.

tooché.

watched HULK with adi adn fazir just now. thanks zir for the treat hehe. it was really good. fight scene, superb. graphics awesome. and im not really into sentimental scenes, but this was an exception. it was touching and not too mushy at the same time. But.. ya its nice. you people should go watch. :)

and to miss atiqah, my report book is still with you, i'll take it back one of these days, i know, you dont need it. :) it doesnt need to be with you either. i hope itll be in the same condition as when i presented it to you. :) thank you come again.

voila, im outs.




I WANT TO WATCH, YOU DONT MESS WITH THE ZOHAN! with..... HEHE.

i cant wait for august. and i dont know why.
i like the name August. :D:D:D




Well, i hope this will be the last. no more okay khai? no more.
i think ive pieced back my heart. should hold up pretty okay.
okay lets get back to business, truth hurts, you just have to face it, brace it and go through it. Something like a punishment for making your own mistake.

Me thinks, me should slap me-self and kick me butt so me can start the engine to be successful in life. Come on khai, you can have everything you want, just that, how bad you want it and how much effort you'll put. Im gonna earn so much money that i'll use money to light a ciggarette or wipe my backside. haha. well, you can stop dreaming and start something. ;)

im getting up. :) thats a good start. and i think, im pretty much glad its over and done with. ya.. ya... i lost somebody, but sacrifices have to be made. at least, now i know what was going on. SO, with that in mind, i felt i so wanted to burn you, but, nah.

yea yea, im sitting here with that evil grin so long gone, but im back.




We drive tonight and you are by my side we're talking about our lives like we've known each other forever the time flies by with the sound of your voice its close to paradise with the end surely near and if I could only stop the car and hold onto you and never let go I'll never let go as we round the corner to your house you turned to me and said "I'll be going through withdrawl of you for this one night we have spent" and I want to speak these words but I guess I'll just bite my tongue and except someday, somehow as the words that we'll hang from And I, I don't want to speak these words cause I, I don't want to make things any worse Why does tonight have to end Why don't we hit restart and pause it at our favorite parts we'll skip the goodbyes If I had it my way I'l turn the car around and run away just you and i..




i really need a freaking job. PRONTO!

been meeting my friends so much all my money is gone! lol.
anyways, cage, it was heavenly. my team, OMERTA 13. actually tied for 1st place with 13 points with another 2 teams. they are really good player the other two teams mind you. well, maybe my team too, are good. :D hehe. played like mad. and im proud we actaully tied with the champions. only that they won via goal difference.

watched holland vs. france. i was so disgusted by how they play. im really starting to question domenech about his tactics. fucking stupid asshole sia. Why does he want to play defensive for? why two defensive midfielders? when both of them lose balls. *sigh. but holland was the better team. that i got to admit. i dont want to talk about it any further. heart pain siaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

What i realise is, im starting to socialize more now. maybe its just the people i meet. and im glad that most of them at pretty much smart and fun to be with people. not some immature, gossip-non-stop and bitch all over and think they are so cool bunch of people. my god.

anyways, with that out of the way. im gonna try my best for an engineering course. then after that, i'll work as a welder for 2 years, get the experience and certificates then go for the courses needed. and walah, welder inspector. Pay? 6K YO!!!!. not gonna be easy. but i want it badly now. weeee.




Im still rooting for FRANCE to win this Euro 2008.

yes they drew on their last match. but you gotta remember. Romania played, only one striker upfront adn the rest all defence. so tell me, how do you scored, with 10 man infront of their goal grr.

ALLEZ LES BLEUS!!!!

friday's CAGE Competition. cant wait cant wait.




Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best.

came across this song..
you know who <3




Sometimes, when you know that it can never go on, you'll always have this little tiny hope inside of you wanting that person so badly. why do you have to make it so hard?

..And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone.



You'll always be my angel.




im really missing my family. eventhough we always argue almost everyday, they are the oxygen. i cant live without them. love you mum, dad, and brother. :)

its okay la. i wont bring myself down to that level again.




Hap hap happay. :) not really..




...Good times last forever, i'll keep my heart with yours.


just got back my test papers. 27/50. shits. and im STILL not studying yet. come on khai. you can do it. :):)

i cant wait for the holidays. i seriously NEED A BREAK. its getting so tedious and i'm drowning in this never-ending cycle repetition of life. i want to do something new everyday and forget it the next.

anyways, had lunch with Miss J. thanks for accompanying me and listening to my craps. its was a nice scenery still and there were only TWO eagle. dont extra can. :P
and whatever i said jsut now was true. beckham, tyra banks. :D and the last part. i really really didnt mean it. i mean, it was a habit i had. :)
thanks.

i want to die. :)




what day is it? and in what month?

hmm.. There are so many IFs and Would haves.
November, December, January, February, March, April, May & June.
if i were to only count the months, it wouldve been 8 months now.
4 more months, and i simply know, that we can stay forever. but you decided to go. oh wells. im suprised, 8months, was quite fast. again, again, again.




Monday's dued for My term test paper. 1 paper only though. Lucky me. :)
5th August's dued for my Car Traffic Police Test. i hope i'll make it once.
Did i mention that the weather's really being weird recently?
and its really kinda annoying. and i feel sick. its like 1 minute its hot another raining and another hot. getting fickled aye.

and im kinda feeling scared actually. everythings depleting at supersonic speed. Arctic Ice melting, Earth getting warmer, Oil depleting, rice/food/land becoming scarce, deforestation, fishes overfished and some already facing extinction. all this at alarming apeed. i wonder, what will my time be like, what my children's time will be like.

scary..

i suppose, i should be enjoying life. every second of it. :) toodles.




KHAIRUL ANWAR, ITS BEEN AWHILE. WELCOME BACK. :)




Love means giving someone the power to hurt you but, trusting her not too. :)

nitenite.




i was late today again(whats new?!) khai, khai. I was awake actually. 6.30am. which actually i have more than enough time to get ready and be in school on time or earlier. But.. i just had to, JUST, had to stay in bed. My dad bought me a new bed. and quilts and new pillows, aiyah whole thing la. i feels so nice. better than my old bed. but i just prefer that bed actually. has my smell. NO NOT BODY ODOUR, just so you know. Taik Bagus (Good Shit) but its okay. and i want/need to reorganise my whole room. repaint and move it about. i was promised help by someone though. but nvrm. i'm just having headache as to reorganising it.

I was talking to my mum and she complained my dad has been bugging her to dye her hair black, since theres too many white hair now. I teased her and said, "rambut putih nanti jadi orang putih tau, mak nak jadi orang putih eh?". She suprising said yes ah! hahaha. She said her name is Helen, Helen Belu. and my dad's Sam Belu. and i thought my english name Harold Antword was cheeky. Tua Sekolah Taik(Old School Shit).

anyways, my body felt so godamn heavy today. i feel lethargic too. i think i might be dying. soon. and the weather's not helping. school seems deserted today. like suddenly low on population. the projects are well on course, and now i just need to finish studying. oaky.. i think i better get going now. else i wont do it at all.

note for somebody,
good luck for you term tests okay. you know i'm wishing you'll do well in all 4 papers. not one only uh. if you really want to go University, better kick your own butt now. Else you'll be ending up in Uneverstudy. MAMPOS, im fucking lame.

bye you. :)




i cant wait for school break. i think i need a break from everything as its getting stale. gonna go sentosa then perhaps work. im trying to find a job at the mac'd call center. good pay actually. 6 p/h for normal timing, 6.50 p/h and weekends or public hoildays 7 p/h. simple job. only unless if i get a difficult caller. shant explain what difficult means. anyways, yea! tehn i can buy my XR4!!.. woo. the feeling i had when i pushed the throttle was unforgettable. i was smirking and went like whoa. powerrrrrrrrr.. :):):) and i bet mac d call center has alot of eye-candies. i hope there wont be any minahs though.

im loving the weather.
and im glad that i still have my friends although we ALWAYS cancel our meetings. but oh wells.




so what do you do when your world gets taken away?
Build a new one.



i always know the answers of my own inquistions. just like now, i do have ALL the answers. its just a little bit hard for me to execute them. what am i to say, im only human. im bounded by feelings too. its not easy. but i guess its paramount now. since theres really no more hope. for me and you. yes, you may be gone. but your presence still lingers. it always will. but of all people, all. i never thought you'd be the one who caused my downfall. hurt my feelings and broke my heart. it was like everything was gone in a moment. I guess i did got carried away by strong emotions.. well, it was all too certain. i saw you 5 years down the road. smiling and you held my hand. but its just sad that it didnt work out again and ive lost somebody i trusted. youve taught me to be patient, you taught me how to be nice. penultimately you taught me how to love...




i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
'cause your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone


i've been alone all along
Goodbye i guess.

Khairul Anwar
TwenTEEN
29/12/1988
Singular
Driven







Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is Mystery, Today, is a gift. That is why it is called the PRESENT

Exit.

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May 2008

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